Chaos Amidst Calm…

This is our second sea day and, while (or whilst, which I like much better, as the Brits say it) the Red Sea is calm and quiet, things aboard are getting hairy.  You see, the cruise line tries to keep things lively during these “down times.”  And this is precisely what I don’t want!

SCENE 1:  The deck has many many lounges as well as many many round picnic tables with and without umbrellas.  And that is part of the rub.  You see, on days like this when everyone is onboard, there are not enough of anything.  Early in the morning, as the sun is coming up, you will see a few clever folk surreptitiously sneaking up to the deck to “lay claim” to their favorite beach lounges.  This means they put their books, suntan lotion, hats, shoes on “their” lounges – and then go back down to their cabins to take a late morning nap.  You see, they would need 700 lounges up there to accommodate all the guests, sort of like providing 700 seats on lifeboats if something were to happen!

SCENE 2: Shortly thereafter the cruise director can be heard on the intercom saying, somewhat sweetly, “Do not leave your possessions on the lounges or we may have to remove them.”  He doesn’t mean “sweetly.”  He just says it that way until another hour passes and he has to repeat the message with more force.

SCENE 3: In the meantime, more and more passengers in their swimsuits (even bikinis, which, believe me, should never be seen on women of a certain age!) come up to the pool deck and start ogling the lounges they would like to take possession of!  And ogling and ogling.  Until the cruise director gives another somewhat hoarse message about possessions and lounges. But the passengers, by this time, are on their 2^nd or 3^rd bloody mary and are in no way going to give up THEIR lounge to the oglers!  Doesn’t matter how nasty everyone gets!  Possession is the first point of law, right??

SCENE 4: And it is about this time when the kitchen crew starts setting up for their outdoor luncheon buffet.  On shore days you can grab a quick hot dog or hamburger here.  But that is not creative enough for sea days.  So today we are having an Indian bonanza lunch out in the sun.  Yesterday it was a Tex-Mex extravaganza lunch and before that a Caribbean lunch. We’ve had Cantonese lunches there and Seafood lunches.  You name it, it’s some kind of funky food in the blazing sun.  And, since it is a buffet, people gather around, pile their plates full of the de rigeur cuisine of the day and let it all run together in the middle of the plate, while trying to keep an eye on their lounge.

SCENE 5: The problem of this is that they, the poachers of lounges, have momentarily left their lounges to eat and drink.  And those, oglers, remember them, are surreptitiously throwing books, sandals, hats on the floor and occupying the choice lounges now empty.  Until the original poachers get back.  And arguments ensue.  And cruise directors sonorously tell them to not hold on to their lounges all day.  And the Caribbean band and singers sing on … and play their instruments like we were somewhere in the Caribbean.  Splash.  Those are the few swimmers who try out the swimming pool and the very lukewarm hot tubs.

Fun, right?  Well, for this stodgy person, I prefer to curl up in the cool of my cabin, listening to my iPod with soothing “California” music, reading one of my 85 books in my kindle and once in a while, giggling to myself about the child-like adult fights over lounges, plates of buffet food. And then I just call room service. “Ketut?  Could I have a club sandwich brought to our room, please?  Thank you.”

A day at sea…